>Sideshow: ‘Mad Men’ without its main man?

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Matt Weiner, beloved creator and exec producer of the sexy, revisionist ’60s soap opera, has yet to renew his contract with Mad Men’s home channel, AMC, says Variety.

Fans quake in horror!

But, there’s good news, of a sort: AMC has green-lighted the fifth season of the superb drama – to run in 2012. Seems they’re determined to crank it out with or without Weiner.

The cabler hasn’t necessarily abandoned Weiner, saying that “key non-cast negotiations” continue as we speak. (Weiner plunged AMC into similar contractual chaos two years ago.)

According to the blog Deadline Hollywood, Weiner is opposing AMC and producer Lionsgate on three things they want: more product placements, two minutes less running time in favor of commercials, and cutting two performers. No names mentioned.

Weiner’s AMC masterpiece stars Jon Hamm as a latter-day Ivan Ilych forced to confront his mortality and the morality of his Mephistophelian role as facilitator of the American dream, hyperconsumerism.

Hope they resolve their differences. AMC would be mad – maaaad! – to steer the Mad Men ship without Weiner at the helm.

Britney Spears is back . . .

Britney Spears is on an aggressive publicity campaign for her new CD, Femme Fatale. (Dude, Brit is about as fatale as a toaster oven.) She’s announced a new tour, and she performed three tunes Tuesday on Good Morning America.

MTV is doing its bit for Brit awareness: On Sunday, it’ll air a behind-the-scenes look at Brit’s wonderrific life.

In related news, MTV says Brit’s ex, Kevin Federline, and his gf, Victoria Prince, are expecting a child. K-Fed is a fecund dude: He already has daughter Kori, 8, and Kaleb, 6, with ex-gf Shar Jackson and sons Sean, 5, and Jaden, 4, with Brit.

. . . but Enrique is outa here?

Billboard reports that Enrique Iglesias, supposed to be touring with Brit, has decided to ditch the job.

Entertainment biz moves

FX has renewed cooler-than-cool-can-be actor Timothy Olyphant’s U.S.-marshals-from-Mars drama, Justified, for a third season.

Jennifer Aniston is about to enter uncharted waters: The Friends star is set to direct a segment in Lifetime TV’s breast-cancer-themed movie anthology movie, Project Five, says the Hollywood Reporter. Segments will be directed by Alicia Keys, Demi Moore, and filmmaker Patty Jenkins.

Agatha Christie’s brilliant pensioner detective Miss Marple is about to undergo a serious makeover. Deadline.com says Jennifer Garner will star as Marple in a big-screen mystery from Disney. What?

Celeb writer and would-be celeb Perez Hilton has signed to write a children’s book that celebrates individuality and self-acceptance, titled The Boy With Pink Hair. (Mr. Hilton often sports a neon-pink-dyed do.)

“This story is about every kid that’s ever had a dream, felt excluded, wanted to belong, and hoped that one day they could do what they loved,” Hilton says in a statement.

Oprah Winfrey has gifted Rosie O’Donnell with her very own show on Oprah’s OWN network. “It’s a huge thrill for me, and I’m beyond the beyond,” Rosie writes on her blog.

Rob Lowe: Charlie, partying dude!

Rob Lowe, 47, used to party with Charlie Sheen when the thesps were young, twentysomething studs. (Rob grew up. As for Chas, well he’s still young at heart.)

Vanity Fair has excerpted passages about the boys’ fun days from Lowe’s forthcoming memoir, Stories I Only Tell My Friends.

“We competed to see who could play harder, then show up for work and still kick [behind],” Lowe writes.

Lowe sums Charlie up as “a wonderful mix of nerd . . . and rebel,” but also describes him as “robotic,” with “bloodless focus, an intensity that I’ve never encountered before.”

Stone, Parker Broadway!

“You know, people had warned us that the Broadway scene was snooty, but it really has been pretty great.”

So says Broadway legend Matt Stone in a really, really long, extended Twitter chat with Gawker.

Adds Stone’s accomplice, Trey Parker, “I like theater people. They hug a lot.”

Stone and Parker, you may remember, outraged every possible interest group with South Park. But they’ve become the world’s most beloved religious prophets with their Broadway smash hit, The Book of Mormon.

Asked what musical they’d love to produce, Stone said, “Fiddler [on the Roof] starring Sacha Baron Cohen.”

‘Madagascar Live!’ is dead!

Madagascar Live! isn’t coming to Philly after all. A show rep says DreamWorks Theatricals and Broadway Across America have canceled all previously scheduled performances of Madagascar Live! at the Academy of Music. The show’s final performance will be at New York’s Radio City Music Hall on April 24.

Producers have a very specific, clear, enlightening reason for killing the show: “Unforeseen circumstances.”

Flash: Beyoncé loves her dad

Sure, she’s fired her dad as her manager, but don’t believe ugly rumors that Beyoncé hates Mathew Knowles. “I’ve only parted ways with my father on a business level,” Beyoncé tells UsMagazine.com. “He is my father for life and I love my dad dearly.”

>Is Charlie Sheen headed to Fox — or back to ‘Two and a Half Men?’

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Is the Charlie Sheen machine heading back to “Two and a Half Men”?

As Sheen preps for his upcoming comedy tour, which kicks off at the Fox Theatre on April 2, a flurry of gossip fueled the public’s imagination Monday.

Chatter crafted by Hollywood Life magazine suggested that there have been meetings between Sheen and Fox bigwigs about the possibility of launching a new late-night show.

Meanwhile, radaronline.com unleashed a story suggesting that reconciliation talks are under way between Sheen and “Two and a Half Men” creator Chuck Lorre. CBS head honcho Les Moonves has reportedly been working on ways to put his top-rated comedy together again for the fall.

‘Detroit 1-8-7’ finale ratings

“Detroit 1-8-7” made its last stand Sunday night as its first (and maybe only) season came to a close. That’s sad news, and there’s even more discouraging news for fans who were hoping the season finale would help boost the show’s ratings.

The 18th episode of “1-8-7,” which was moved to Sunday from its usual 10 p.m. Tuesday time slot, drew about 4.7 million viewers nationally. Locally, nearly 340,000 viewers tuned in for the finale, according to figures provided by WXYZ-TV (Channel 7).

On Monday, during a freep.com Web chat, “1-8-7” creator Jason Richman popped up to let guests know that he and his producing team are committed to the series — and the city — and will be doing everything possible to ensure that it returns for a second season.

ABC isn’t expected to reveal the fate of “1-8-7” until it announces its 2011-12 schedule in May.

Miss USA due at fund-raiser

Reigning Miss USA Rima Fakih of Dearborn is scheduled to make an appearance at the Fallen and Wounded Soldiers Fund’s sixth annual dinner and auction Saturday.

WDIV-TV (Channel 4)’s Chuck Gaidica will host the event, which will feature keynote speakers Oliver North and Kirk S. Lippold.

The soldiers group is a Livonia-based nonprofit organization that is dedicated to assisting veterans of the Iraq and Afghanistan wars and their families. The event is being produced in coordination with Families United and Operation Care Package Michigan.

Tickets for the event at the Suburban Collection Showplace (formerly Rock Financial Showplace) are $100 per person. For more, call Ann Cornelius at 248-346-5976 or e-mail ann4fwsf@aol.com .

Seger adds second Detroit date

There’s another hometown show for Bob Seger: The Detroit rocker has added a May 17 date at the Palace of Auburn Hills to go with the already-scheduled May 19 show at the arena.

Seats for both shows will go on sale at 10 a.m. Saturday through Ticketmaster and at the Palace box office.

The concerts are part of a spring tour that kicks off Saturday in Toledo. It’s the first tour for Seger and his Silver Bullet Band since 2007, and it comes as the much-loved Michigan star nears the release of his first album in five years.

Zingerman’s chef up for award

Zingerman’s Roadhouse executive chef Alex Young is one of five finalists for the James Beard Foundation’s 2011 Best Chef: Great Lakes award. The Beard competition is considered the most prestigious in the United States for food professionals and others in the food and wine world.

This is the fifth time the Ann Arbor chef has been a finalist in the Beard awards. Nominees in all 55 awards categories are at JBFAwards.com.

Winners for chefs and other industry professionals will be announced in New York on May 9.

Briefly

• WCSX-FM (94.7) morning jock Ken Calvert is looking for a local classic rock outfit that has the goods to open up for Eddie Money at DTE Energy Music Theatre on May 27.

To get started with KC’s Big Break contest, local rockers just need to film (and then upload) a video of a performance. Voting is scheduled to begin in mid-April before the top five finalists rock out during a showdown scheduled for May.

For more, listen to KC on WCSX in the mornings or head to wcsx.com/bigbreak/.

• Eddie Murphy will receive the Comedy Icon Award during the inaugural Comedy Awards, organizers announced Monday. Featuring Tina Fey, Jon Stewart, Jimmy Fallon, Louis C.K., Stephen Colbert, Kristen Wiig and more, the Comedy Awards will air over multiple MTV networks April 10.

>Warlocks (and Alec Baldwin) Want Charlie Sheen to Get His Act Together

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Add the witches and warlocks of Salem, Mass. to the list of those who have had it up to here with the Sheenanigans.
As it turns out, the Coven of the Raven Moon was none too amused when Charlie Sheen announced he’s a “Vatican assassin warlock” during a recent radio interview.
Hence, it was time for a five-minute “magical intervention.”
The group felt that Sheen calling himself an “assassin warlock” cast peace-loving Wiccans in a bad light. In order to teach Sheen a lesson (and bind him from harming himself and others), the coven headed to a Salem witchcraft store and summoned the archangels of the four corners of the world, according to Variety.
“May you find healing and open your eyes; we bind you from harm in the craft of the wise,” three coven members reportedly chanted after lighting candles and shaking a talisman head of Anubis.
But the bevy of beefs with the former Two and a Half Men star didn’t stop there.
Alec Baldwin also had some tough love for the record-setting Twitterer.
“You can’t win. Really. You. Can’t,” Baldwin wrote in an editorial for The Huffington Post. “Take a nap. Get a shower. Call Chuck. Go on Letterman and make an apology. Write a huge check to the B’Nai Brith. And then beg for your job back. Your fans demand it.”
And that wasn’t all.
“Sober up, Charlie. And get back on TV, if it’s not too late. This is America. You want to really piss off Chuck and Warner Brothers and CBS? Beg for America’s forgiveness. They will give it to you. And then go back. You are a great television star. And you’ve got the gig,” Baldwin continued. “P.S…. buy Cryer a really nice car.”

>John Stamos Doesn’t Want to Replace Charlie Sheen

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John Stamos is flattered that fans think he could replace Charlie Sheen on Two and a Half Men, but don’t expect to see the former ER star on the CBS comedy any time soon.
“It’s really not part of my career plan right now,” he told Ryan Seacrest Friday. “I’m just on a different trajectory.”
After Charlie Sheen was fired from the hit TV show, rumors swirled that stars such as Stamos and Rob Lowe might be up for filling the void. Still, Stamos isn’t sure that he’s the right guy for the job.
“Charlie’s great on that show and people love Charlie,” he explained. “I hope it works out and I hope he goes back and I hope people get the show they love.”
Instead, Stamos added, he’s been looking forward to finding a character he can make his own.
“I’m ready to have my own show,” he said. “I don’t want to replace anyone, especially Charlie Sheen.”

>Charlie: ‘Chipped Warlock Fang’ Caused Spat with Bree

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Chipping your warlock fangs is a very painful experience, so when it happened to Charlie Sheen last night … he took out his frustration on Bree Olson. Wait, WHAT?!?!?!?
Charlie and Bree had a little fight last night — which Sheen tweeted about, saying she had “left the building.” As we previously reported, things are all good now.
Charlie explained the tiff to us this way: “I chipped one of my warlock fangs on a great white shark I had to murder. Pissed me off and like an ass I took it out on her.”
Hope that clears things up.

>Charlie Sheen’s Poetic Masterpiece — ‘F**k It’

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Charlie Sheen was dropping wisdom long before he made the word “winning” ubiquitous (and annoying) — Todaycontent obtained a copy of “F**k It” … an original poem Sheen penned back in ’96. Deep.

The poem’s opening lines are pretty ironic … considering unemployed Charlie’s current situation — “Keep it light; Keep it tight; Know what’s right – Choose your fight.”

We’re told Charlie scribbled the poem on a blank page in the back of his book of poetry — “A Peace of My Mind” — and then handed it to a friend on New Year’s Eve in ’96.

The closing lines — “It’s up [to] the man with a steady plan, to star in that final show.”

>Charlie Sheen Celebrates ‘Two and a Half Men’ Firing: ‘Free at Last’

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The actor climbs to the top of an office building wielding a machete and drinking out of a bottle Monday afternoon.The actor climbed to the top of the Live Nation office building in Beverly Hills first wielding a machete and then drinking out of a bottle, as captured by a TMZ camera crew.

Asked what he was planning to do next, Sheen shouted down to reporters below: “I ain’t gonna go to f—ing Disneyland, I’ll tell you that much.”Once on ground again, Sheen was asked if he was “excited” about being released from his Men contract.

“Let me just say, free at last, free at last,” Sheen replied.

On Monday, Sheen’s lawyer Marty Singer told The Hollywood Reporter that they are planning to sue Warner Bros. over Sheen’s termination.

“We will sue,” Singer said. “It’s a matter of when. It could be this week, it could be in a little while. We’re in no rush. But we will sue.”

>Charlie Sheen’s Web show draws more than 100,000 viewers

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Charlie Sheen’s Ustream Internet show drew more than 100,000 viewers during its debut airing on Saturday night.

Viewer count for “Sheen’s Korner” fluctuated throughout the broadcast but there were 113,251 hits at one point. By contrast, Sheen has about two million Twitter followers.

Wearing a hat and a black t-shirt with a green dollar sign on its front, the ubiquitous former sitcom star and his three cohorts/co-hosts introduced segments such as “Wish They Were Me” and “Weighing in With Rick” (featuring Rick Calamaro, Sheen’s assistant) in a format closely akin to a local access cable show.

Early on during the one hour broadcast, Sheen revealed a new tattoo on his inner left wrist that said “winning,” one of his latest catchphrases.

During another segment Sheen listed off the people he’d like to be for ten minutes: Colin Farrell, San Francisco Giants pitcher Brian “Fear the Beard” Wilson, and Sean Penn.

Sheen stated during the broadcast that, depending on reaction, the show may return on a daily basis.