>Sideshow: ‘Mad Men’ without its main man?

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Matt Weiner, beloved creator and exec producer of the sexy, revisionist ’60s soap opera, has yet to renew his contract with Mad Men’s home channel, AMC, says Variety.

Fans quake in horror!

But, there’s good news, of a sort: AMC has green-lighted the fifth season of the superb drama – to run in 2012. Seems they’re determined to crank it out with or without Weiner.

The cabler hasn’t necessarily abandoned Weiner, saying that “key non-cast negotiations” continue as we speak. (Weiner plunged AMC into similar contractual chaos two years ago.)

According to the blog Deadline Hollywood, Weiner is opposing AMC and producer Lionsgate on three things they want: more product placements, two minutes less running time in favor of commercials, and cutting two performers. No names mentioned.

Weiner’s AMC masterpiece stars Jon Hamm as a latter-day Ivan Ilych forced to confront his mortality and the morality of his Mephistophelian role as facilitator of the American dream, hyperconsumerism.

Hope they resolve their differences. AMC would be mad – maaaad! – to steer the Mad Men ship without Weiner at the helm.

Britney Spears is back . . .

Britney Spears is on an aggressive publicity campaign for her new CD, Femme Fatale. (Dude, Brit is about as fatale as a toaster oven.) She’s announced a new tour, and she performed three tunes Tuesday on Good Morning America.

MTV is doing its bit for Brit awareness: On Sunday, it’ll air a behind-the-scenes look at Brit’s wonderrific life.

In related news, MTV says Brit’s ex, Kevin Federline, and his gf, Victoria Prince, are expecting a child. K-Fed is a fecund dude: He already has daughter Kori, 8, and Kaleb, 6, with ex-gf Shar Jackson and sons Sean, 5, and Jaden, 4, with Brit.

. . . but Enrique is outa here?

Billboard reports that Enrique Iglesias, supposed to be touring with Brit, has decided to ditch the job.

Entertainment biz moves

FX has renewed cooler-than-cool-can-be actor Timothy Olyphant’s U.S.-marshals-from-Mars drama, Justified, for a third season.

Jennifer Aniston is about to enter uncharted waters: The Friends star is set to direct a segment in Lifetime TV’s breast-cancer-themed movie anthology movie, Project Five, says the Hollywood Reporter. Segments will be directed by Alicia Keys, Demi Moore, and filmmaker Patty Jenkins.

Agatha Christie’s brilliant pensioner detective Miss Marple is about to undergo a serious makeover. Deadline.com says Jennifer Garner will star as Marple in a big-screen mystery from Disney. What?

Celeb writer and would-be celeb Perez Hilton has signed to write a children’s book that celebrates individuality and self-acceptance, titled The Boy With Pink Hair. (Mr. Hilton often sports a neon-pink-dyed do.)

“This story is about every kid that’s ever had a dream, felt excluded, wanted to belong, and hoped that one day they could do what they loved,” Hilton says in a statement.

Oprah Winfrey has gifted Rosie O’Donnell with her very own show on Oprah’s OWN network. “It’s a huge thrill for me, and I’m beyond the beyond,” Rosie writes on her blog.

Rob Lowe: Charlie, partying dude!

Rob Lowe, 47, used to party with Charlie Sheen when the thesps were young, twentysomething studs. (Rob grew up. As for Chas, well he’s still young at heart.)

Vanity Fair has excerpted passages about the boys’ fun days from Lowe’s forthcoming memoir, Stories I Only Tell My Friends.

“We competed to see who could play harder, then show up for work and still kick [behind],” Lowe writes.

Lowe sums Charlie up as “a wonderful mix of nerd . . . and rebel,” but also describes him as “robotic,” with “bloodless focus, an intensity that I’ve never encountered before.”

Stone, Parker Broadway!

“You know, people had warned us that the Broadway scene was snooty, but it really has been pretty great.”

So says Broadway legend Matt Stone in a really, really long, extended Twitter chat with Gawker.

Adds Stone’s accomplice, Trey Parker, “I like theater people. They hug a lot.”

Stone and Parker, you may remember, outraged every possible interest group with South Park. But they’ve become the world’s most beloved religious prophets with their Broadway smash hit, The Book of Mormon.

Asked what musical they’d love to produce, Stone said, “Fiddler [on the Roof] starring Sacha Baron Cohen.”

‘Madagascar Live!’ is dead!

Madagascar Live! isn’t coming to Philly after all. A show rep says DreamWorks Theatricals and Broadway Across America have canceled all previously scheduled performances of Madagascar Live! at the Academy of Music. The show’s final performance will be at New York’s Radio City Music Hall on April 24.

Producers have a very specific, clear, enlightening reason for killing the show: “Unforeseen circumstances.”

Flash: Beyoncé loves her dad

Sure, she’s fired her dad as her manager, but don’t believe ugly rumors that Beyoncé hates Mathew Knowles. “I’ve only parted ways with my father on a business level,” Beyoncé tells UsMagazine.com. “He is my father for life and I love my dad dearly.”

>Lindsay Lohan cleared in rehab fight probe

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Lindsay Lohan has one less legal problem to worry about after a prosecutor decided not to charge her in connection with an altercation while she was in a substance abuse rehab program in December.

Lohan, who faces a preliminary hearing on a felony grand theft charge April 22, could also go back to jail on a probation violation charge on the same day.

But the Riverside County, California, district attorney decided Tuesday not to pursue a possible assault charge against the actress for a December 12, 2010, incident with Dawn Holland, a Betty Ford Center staffer, the prosecutor’s spokesman said.

“Our office has completed review of the case, and we will not file charges due to insufficient evidence,” spokesman John Hall said.

Lohan checked herself into the Betty Ford Center in Rancho Mirage, California, for substance abuse rehab on September 28, 2010, just days after she dodged jail on another probation violation.

A Los Angeles County judge later ordered her to remain in the drug rehab program until January 3 for failing a drug test while on supervised probation for a 2007 drunken-driving charge.

An incident three weeks after she was released from rehab led to her latest legal problems. She allegedly walked out of a Venice, California, jewelry store wearing a necklace that she had not paid for, according to police.

Lohan rejected a plea deal last week, setting the stage for next month’s preliminary hearing and a possible trial.

>Who should open for Britney Spears on tour?

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Who will warm up Britney Spears’ crowd?

Britney Spears has announced a new tour in support of her “Femme Fatale” album, running June to August . Enrique Iglesias was on tap to open, but almost as soon as it was announced, he dropped.

Some artists are too big or too small, and some are just right. Some folks have their own tour to worry about — like Rihanna with Cee Lo — while others are simply too busy (can Jennifer Lopez really be in two different locations at once?). Some don’t have the right style to mix — Nicki Minaj has her hands full with Lil Wayne and Young Money anyway.

HitFix has some ideas of who should support Brit-Brit on the road, from Adam Lambert to Ke$ha to Far East Movement.

Who would you personally love to see perform before the pop diva hits the stage?

>Cavaliers get the better of LeBron James for a night

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In an unbearable season of losses, Cleveland got the win it wanted most.

The Cavaliers took down LeBron James.

Despite blowing a 23-point lead, the Cavaliers battled back and beat the Miami Heat, 102-90, on Tuesday night, getting a dose of revenge against James, who was making his second homecoming visit to Cleveland since leaving last summer.

J.J. Hickson scored 21 and Anthony Parker scored 20 for the Cavaliers, who were embarrassed by James and the Heat, 118-90, on Dec. 2 — a night when Cleveland fans unleashed their hatred on the superstar.

This time, James left the court hanging his head. He finished with 27 points, 12 assists and 10 rebounds.

In the closing seconds, a sellout crowd of 20,562 cut loose at a victory even the most loyal Cleveland fan couldn’t have imagined. Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert, who accused James of quitting in last year’s playoffs after the two-time most valuable player announced in a TV special that he was joining Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh, high-fived anyone within reach.

On the court afterward, Parker, whose last three-point shot with 2:47 left capped a 12-0 run and put the Heat away, addressed the fans.

“You guys deserve it,” he said.

The Cavaliers were a different team — literally — from the one that lay down against the Heat in December. Injuries and trades have reduced Cleveland’s roster to a shell of the one James played with and helped win 60 games last season.

The Heat rallied from 23 down, and tied it at 83-all on Mike Bibby’s seventh three-pointer with 7:03 left. But Miami, which wasted a chance to move into second place in the Eastern Conference, went scoreless for 4:24, allowing the Cavaliers to get their 15th win and their most lopsided victory this season.

Wade scored 24 for the Heat, which had its winning streak stopped at five.

at Oklahoma City 115, Golden State 114 (OT): Kevin Durant scored 39 points and Russell Westbrook hit the winning free throw with 11.4 seconds left in overtime for the Thunder. Durant scored eight of Oklahoma City’s nine points in overtime but served as a decoy to create room along the right side of the lane as Westbrook drove to the basket and was fouled. Westbrook missed his first free throw but made the second to put the Thunder on top. The Warriors’ Monta Ellis missed a jumper from the top of the key at the final buzzer. Stephen Curry led Golden State with 35 points.

Houston 112, at New Jersey 87: Kyle Lowry had 16 points, 10 assists and seven rebounds and the Rockets moved to within two games of the final playoff berth in the Western Conference. Kevin Martin scored 20 points as Houston won for the sixth time in seven games. Brook Lopez had 22 points for the Nets, who lost their third in a row and seventh in eight games. Deron Williams sat out his sixth straight game for New Jersey, which has lost 50 games for the second straight season.

at Sacramento 116, Phoenix 113: Marcus Thornton scored 24 points and had 11 rebounds and the Kings won their season-high fourth straight game. The loss was the third straight and eighth in 11 games for the Suns, who have watched any hopes of the playoffs practically disappear over this stretch.

>Gadhafi forces repel rebels

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A sustained counterattack by Libyan government troops sent overmatched rebel fighters fleeing eastward for almost 100 miles Tuesday, erasing many of the weekend gains by opposition forces attempting to overthrow Libyan leader Moammar Gadhafi.

Panicked and badly rattled, hundreds of rebels sped away from the front to escape fierce rocket barrages by Gadhafi’s soldiers and militiamen. Rebel gun trucks raced three abreast and jostled madly for position on a coastal highway choked with retreating fighters and civilians. At one point, rebels surrendered 70 miles of terrain in just four hours.

It was a humiliating rout for a volunteer fighting force that had advanced 150 miles in 24 hours over the weekend behind allied airstrikes that pummeled government troops and armor. Many rebels had spoken confidently of marching on Tripoli, the capital, buoyed by false news reports Monday that their forces had captured Gadhafi’s hometown garrison of Sirte.

But by Tuesday afternoon, those same rebels were in headlong retreat from Bin Jawwad, which they had seized only Sunday. Many fled 25 miles east to Ras Lanuf, the oil city captured by the opposition Saturday. By nightfall, the city and its refinery were under government assault as the rebel retreat spilled farther east.

The swift battlefield reversal underscored the mercurial nature of the war in the east, where neither side seems strong enough to vanquish the other.

Nearly a month of fighting has raged back and forth across a 220-mile stretch of coastal wasteland in a nation with a coastline of nearly 1,100 miles.

The headlong retreat from Bin Jawwad marked the second time in just 23 days that government forces had routed rebels there. The town is on the fault line between eastern and western Libya, with several tribes in the area split between the two sides.

By nightfall Tuesday, some rebel gun trucks had retreated all way east to Uqaylah, 45 miles from Ras Lanuf — and nearly 120 miles from the spot where rebels had advanced to within 50 miles of Sirte 24 hours earlier.

Among those fleeing were rebels driving trucks mounted with the opposition’s most effective weapons: 106mm artillery, heavy machine guns and recoilless rifles. Rebels firing behind sand dunes shouted at them to turn around, but they ignored them and sped east.

Some fighters acknowledged that they felt helpless against the BM-21 Grad rocket systems that pounded rebel positions throughout the day. There was no sign near Bin Jawwad of Grad batteries that rebels seized from government forces last weekend.

“When the Grads hit, we all ran,” said Abdelsalam Ali, 37, a taxi driver armed with an assault rifle. “They’re too strong for us.”

Asked if he would stand his ground and fight if the government advance continued, Ali shrugged and replied, “It’s not wise to face these guys when they have heavy weapons and we don’t. I’m trying to do this in a safe way.”

Also fleeing was Mohammed Fatallah, 42, a businessman armed with a submachine gun manufactured in 1949. He said he also was leery of Grad rockets to stand and fight for Bin Jawwad.

“If the planes will hit Gadhafi’s men, well, then I’ll go there and fight,” Fatallah said. “If the planes don’t attack, we’ll get pushed back even more.”

Other lightly armed rebels said they retreated because they were told that only heavy machine guns and antiaircraft systems were needed at the front. But those claims proved suspect when rebel gun trucks fled from the front towing those very weapons.

Many rebels gave up any pretense, at least for the day, of marching on Sirte or on to Tripoli.

Gadhafi’s forces have built well-defended fortifications about 50 miles east of Sirte, which has been attacked by the Western-led alliance. But even after airstrikes routed Gadhafi’s men from eastern Libyan cities, government troops are still better armed and better led than the rebels.

The defense of Sirte is important to Gadhafi because it is the last major pro-Gadhafi redoubt between the current front and Tripoli, 275 miles west. The city is dominated by well-armed members of Gadhafi’s Gadhadhfa tribe.

More than 100 miles east of Sirte, gas shortages hobbled some rebel forces. Many rebel vehicles carry extra containers of gasoline. But some rebels, joined by civilians, crowded into gas stations closed for lack of electricity. Using rope, they lowered empty water bottles weighted with stones into underground storage tanks to scoop up gasoline.

Later, rebels set fire to an abandoned armored troop carrier and a cement truck as they retreated, apparently to keep them out of government hands.

The day began with a fierce government assault early Tuesday, the second in as many days. Rebels at first retreated to new lines a few miles east of a desert crossroads. There, they watched government rockets crash down two miles away, sending up plumes of dirty brown smoke.

The dull thump of artillery and heavy machine-gun fire sounded in and around Bin Jawwad at mid-day as rebels fought desperately to hold positions there.

Plumes of black smoke rose over the grimy coastal town as volleys of rocket and artillery fire echoed across the desert. Ambulances with blaring sirens sped west, their paramedics frantically treating wounded fighters.

At 2:30 p.m., a furious government fusillade stirred panic among rebel volunteers and defecting army regulars fighting alongside them. About 200 fighters suddenly abandoned their positions east of Bin Jawwad in a mad dash to safety.

Two larger, more chaotic retreats erupted an hour later as hundreds of rebels fled another 25 miles eastward. Some fired their weapons into the air at random. They were cursed by other fleeing fighters for wasting precious ammunition.

A few fighters shouted “Allahu Akbar!” — God is great — over their shoulders with little conviction as they abandoned the fight.

Those same rebels earlier had boldly proclaimed their intent to not only hold their ground but also mount an assault on Sirte. Bernwi, the exterminator-turned-fighter, vowed to march to Tripoli “to exterminate the biggest rat — Gadhafi.”

Just two hours later, a stiff desert wind blew in the faces of terrified fighters speeding east, and Bin Jawwad was abandoned to Gadhafi’s men.

The government counterattack began overnight with rocket barrages that scattered poorly organized rebel positions west of Bin Jawwad. By early morning Tuesday, dozens of rebels sped east into Bin Jawwad, fleeing gunfire and explosions.

Furious arguments broke out over the proper way to hold off the government assault. With no formal leadership and no coordinated tactics, the rebels are not a unified fighting force but a collection of enthusiastic but untrained men with guns.

Some fighters set up truck-mounted 106mm artillery tubes atop sand dunes and fired at advancing government forces. Others turned their gun trucks around and drove cautiously toward the fight, only to suddenly turn and flee again at the sound of enemy fire.

Still other fighters crouched behind sand dunes and embankments along the Mediterranean coast, armed only with assault rifles and rocket-propelled grenade launchers. Some squinted helplessly through binoculars at Grad rockets exploding along the highway a mile west.

Rebels said they were lured by Gadhafi gunmen into an ambush late Monday about 50 miles east of Sirte. Bernwi and other gunmen said a group of government militiamen raised a white flag to draw the rebels close, then opened fire with heavy machine guns.

As the rebels retreated toward Bin Jawwad, they passed several groups of rebel fighters lounging on sand dunes and feasting on meals provided by rebel supporters.

The men were implored to stand and fight, retreating rebels said. But these fighters, too, turned their gun trucks around and sped east toward the rapidly collapsing rebel lines.

>Embattled Japanese power company chief hospitalized due to ‘fatigue’

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The president of the embattled utility that owns the crippled Fukushima Daiichi nuclear plant has been hospitalized due to “fatigue and stress,” the company said Wednesday.

Tokyo Electric Power Co. President Masataka Shimizu was hospitalized Tuesday. The company has not released further details about his condition.

Shimizu made a public apology several days after a March 11 earthquake and tsunami knocked out cooling systems at the plant. The last time he was spotted in public was at a March 13 news conference.

Reporters peppered company officials with questions about the president’s whereabouts Sunday. A spokesman said Shimizu had been staying inside the company’s Tokyo headquarters.

His physical condition had been on the decline from overwork, the spokesman said Sunday.

News of Shimizu’s hospitalization comes a day after an inspector for Japan’s nuclear safety agency described austere working conditions at the plant.

Workers were sleeping in conference rooms, corridors, and stairwells on leaded mats intended to keep radiation at bay, safety inspector Kazuma Yokota said.

They were also eating only two meals each day — a carefully rationed breakfast of 30 crackers and vegetable juice, and for dinner, a ready-to-eat meal or something out of a can.

“My parents were washed away by the tsunami, and I still don’t know where they are,” one worker wrote in an e-mail that was verified as authentic by a spokesman for the Tokyo Electric Power Co.

“Crying is useless,” said another e-mail. “If we’re in hell now, all we can do is crawl up towards heaven.”

In a statement released March 18, Shimizu said the company was taking the crisis seriously.

“We sincerely apologize to all the people living in the surrounding area of the power station and people in Fukushima Prefecture, as well as to the people of society for causing such great concern and nuisance,” he said.

Meanwhile, tests revealed radioactive iodine at more than 3,000 times the normal level in ocean water near the plant — a new high, Japan’s nuclear safety agency said Wednesday.

The Nuclear and Industrial Safety Agency said monitoring data collected Tuesday afternoon detected the I-131 isotope at 3,355 times the normal level.

The sample was taken 330 meters (1,080 feet) away from one of the plant’s water discharge points, the agency said.

Radiation readings from seawater outside the plant have fluctuated. They spiked Sunday, then dropped a day later.

Officials did not pinpoint a particular cause for the higher readings.

But officials and experts have noted that workers at the plant face a difficult balancing act as they struggle to keep reactors cool and prevent radioactive water from leaking into the ocean.

Water has been a key weapon in the battle to stave off a meltdown at the facility. Workers have pumped and sprayed tons of water to keep the plant’s radioactive fuel from overheating, and the plant is running out of room to store the now-contaminated liquid.

“They have a problem where the more they try to cool it down, the greater the radiation hazard as that water leaks out from the plant,” said Jim Walsh, an international security expert at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology.

>Amy Adams: From ‘June Bug’ To Lois Lane

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We take a look at the eclectic list of roles the Oscar-nominated actress, and new Superman love interest, has played.

Henry Cavill might have been getting a little lonely in Metropolis. Two months after landing the role of Superman in Zack Snyder’s reboot of the superhero franchise, the 27-year-old actor still hadn’t found out who’d become his Lois Lane.

The answer arrived on Sunday: Amy Adams will be play the Daily Planet reporter and Superman love interest. In a statement, Snyder called Adams “one of the most versatile and respected actresses in films today.” That’s hardly an overstatement: The 36-year-old star has performed in indies and blockbusters, musicals and animated fare, solemn dramas and bawdy comedies. Along the way she’s managed to earn three Oscar nominations, the latest for her supporting turn last year in “The Fighter.”

A former Hooters waitress, Adams made her debut in 1999’s “Drop Dead Gorgeous” as a dim and cheerful beauty-pageant contestant. Supporting roles on the big and small screen followed, but her next step up the Hollywood food chain didn’t arrive until Steven Spielberg cast her as Leonardo DiCaprio’s love interest in 2002’s “Catch Me If You Can.” While things were undoubtedly going well for the actress, she then took a step back from the spotlight over the next few years and only fully resurfaced in very unlikely fashion.

“June Bug,” a sort of “Meet the Parents” for the art-house crowd that starred Adams as a wide-eyed gal named Ashley who’s days away from giving birth and seemingly miles away from planet earth, debuted at the Sundance Film Festival in January 2005. The performance won her a special jury prize for acting — and a year later she earned her first Oscar nod for the part. The decision to avoid mainstream fare turned out to be just what Adams’ career needed.

“If you love the project, you love the project, and you could be making millions of dollars and have millions of dollars to spend or no money to spend and making no money,” Adams told us at the time. “But it’s about the script and it’s about the people and it’s about the story.”

From there she began mixing studio pictures (“Talladega Nights”) with indie roles (“Sunshine Cleaning”), and ended up wowing critics and audiences in “Enchanted,” a film that managed to breathe new life into movie musicals while at the same time paying deep respect to the genre. There was also a short but satisfying arc on “The Office” as Jim Halpert’s (John Krasinski) handbag-slinging girlfriend. By the start of 2009, Adams would earn her second Oscar nod — this one for playing a 1960s-era nun in “Doubt” — and yet she couldn’t quite get used to the idea that she was indeed a movie star.

“You see yourself onscreen, or you see pictures of yourself, and it can get really heady. I don’t think human beings are supposed to look at themselves that much,” she said in a Janis Joplin in a big-screen biopic. But none of that will compare to the exposure the new “Superman” movie will bring her when it premieres in December 2012. Snyder, for one, couldn’t be happier with the choice.

“Amy has the talent to capture all of the qualities we love about Lois,” he said. “[S]mart, tough, funny, warm, ambitious and, of course, beautiful.”

>Maureen Orth: Geraldine Ferraro Never Shrank from a Battle

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My favorite memory of Geraldine Ferraro came at the 1984 Democratic National Convention, in San Francisco, the night she accepted the nomination to be Walter Mondale’s running mate and became the first ever female vice-presidential candidate from a major party. Dressed in white, she was beaming from ear to ear backstage. “Hey, Timmy,” she said to my late husband, Tim Russert, then working for New York governor Mario Cuomo, who had electrified Democrats with his keynote speech at the convention. “Not bad for two kids from Queens!”

Ferraro was fun to be with; she wasn’t a scold or a downer, which unfortunately was how many men in charge in those days thought of other women leaders, such as Congresswoman Bella Abzug. A former Queens assistant district attorney, “Gerry” knew how to get along with the guys. She was always quick with a quote, well put together, and thought of as “pert and spunky”—words that would never be used to describe a man, but they helped Ferraro make herself heard, especially to the powerful Speaker of the House, Tip O’Neill (she was a favorite of his). Nevertheless, she stood her ground on feminist issues—I covered her during the ill-fated push to ratify the Equal Rights Amendment in 1982. As a Catholic mother of three, she did not believe personally in abortion, but she defended the right to choose and was pilloried by Catholic bishops for her stand. She remained unbowed and often tried to deflect controversy with a raised eyebrow or an ironic smile.

Like Sarah Palin when she became John McCain’s running mate, Ferraro had to be introduced to much of the country, and then as now the rules for a female candidate were different. Retired NBC producer Susan LaSalla, who was assigned to cover Ferraro and later became close to her, remembers being confronted by the candidate on her campaign plane. “Why do you keep staring at me?” Ferraro asked. “Because you have blond hair and you are wearing all beige down to your shoes,” LaSalla said. “You are going to be on camera and all you are is beige-y.” The physical appearance of a female politician is never far from anyone’s mind.

Only a few weeks after her nomination, Ferraro got into hot water due to the shady business dealings of her husband, real-estate developer John Zaccaro. Ferraro held her own during a more-than-two-hour press conference in which she answered questions about Zaccaro’s refusal to submit his tax returns for scrutiny, but she never fully recovered, and the episode damaged the Democrats’ already slim chance of denying Ronald Reagan and Vice President George H. W. Bush a second term. In fact, another female-only word soon began to circulate to describe Ferraro—“shrill.” Bush got into trouble after the vice-presidential debate for boasting that he “kicked a little ass tonight,” but it didn’t stop his wife, Barbara, from entering the fray to deliver the next punch. When it became known that Ferraro was the wife of a millionaire, not exactly the working-class mom she was portrayed as, Barbara Bush called her a “four-million dollar—I can’t say it, but it rhymes with rich.”

Subsequently Ferraro ran for the Senate twice, losing in the Democratic primary in 1992 and 1998. In 2008, even while battling the cancer that eventually caused her death, she was a tireless activist for Hillary Clinton’s presidential campaign—she even attacked her old pal Tim Russert for what she felt was unfair treatment of Clinton. Ferraro never shrank from a battle when she thought she was on the right side. She was an old-fashioned New York liberal, and in those circles especially, “Gerry” has remained an icon for aspiring female politicians.

Last July, although Ferraro was so riddled with cancer that she could barely stand, she and her husband celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary by renewing their vows in the same Manhattan church where they had been married. Susan LaSalla told me how they laughed because the church was still without air conditioning. At the altar, Zaccaro told his wife the same thing he had said on their wedding day: “It’s so hot in here, I can’t stand it!” According to LaSalla, theirs was a true love story, and even though her husband had helped derail her political dreams, when it came time for the vows, Ferraro stood up once again. That’s what anyone would say about her: Geraldine Ferraro was a stand-up gal.

>Misfits, misdeeds and outright shock make way to Final Four

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Welcome to the Final Four, Mr. Smart. I see we have your reservation. I’ll just need to see a form of identification.

And you — name’s Brad is it? — come back when you’re old enough to join the circus. What is it about these Indiana kids wanting to get out and see the world at such a young age?

Somebody get a wheelchair for that 68-year-old in the lobby. Considering he’s not giving a dime back, the poor man can’t carry an entire state’s hopes and his salary at the same time.

At least the Final Four is classed up by First Fan Ashley Judd, here in both skinny jeans and in love with her Cats. Her only entourage this week, a horde of Kentucky fans who have been on a starvation diet of sorts. It’s been 13 years since the Wildcats have been this far.

Houston, we have a problem. The NCAA’s biggest money every year has become, in 2011, the biggest conundrum in years. No No. 1s, no No. 2s, only Virginia Commonwealth shooting a lot of 3s. Look at the opposing sides of the bracket. One is Wrestlemania. The other is Revenge of the Nerds. Dichotomy Duos comes to mind, or The Big (Disparity) Dance. John Calipari could buy the VCU and Butler programs and still have some cash left over for a Bentley. We know, we know, there were no great teams this season, only good ones. But did the Final Four bracket have to end up looking like a middle-school mixer? Girls on one side of the gym, boys on the other. Hormones raging. Sooner or later, somebody’s going to dance.

Call it King Tuts vs. a pair of mutts.

Luster vs. Bracketbuster.

Class vs. Class struggle.

Velvet rope vs. Back door.

Hotness vs. Hoosiers.

Armani vs. Dockers.

Infractions committee vs. Impossible Dream.

You can’t overlook the sketchy factor. The association proudly says it makes more than 85 percent of its budget from the tournament. That’s a reflection of our interest. It’s also reflection of the current state of college athletics. Half the Final Four is over-the-top amazing, the other half has an under-the-table feel to it.

Calhoun has been suspended for three games next season by the NCAA for recruiting violations at Connecticut. Bruce Pearl isn’t here but he as an equally qualified stand-in for NCAA enforcement purposes, Coach Cal. Unofficially, only Calhoun (four) has more Final Four appearances than Butler’s Brad Stevens (two) in this group. That’s because officially the NCAA doesn’t count Calipari’s trips with UMass and Memphis. Google “vacated” “banners taken down” “records expunged”. You’ll find Cal in there somewhere, if not actually in the NCAA reports, which Kentucky’s coach quickly will point out.

Stevens — who actually chose coaching over a career as The Human Torso — has not-so-suddenly become the sport’s smartest man in the room. Sorry, Houston, for that reference. Stevens is the baby-faced tactician who suddenly seems overqualified for any opening that might occur at Indiana’s state school in Bloomington. If he isn’t the smartest coach in the country, we’ve still got the Smartest Shaka.

VCU’s coach doesn’t wear a sports jacket, shaves his head and drives opponents — or at least Jay Bilas — crazy. Actually, shaving might be the only thing close about Smart. His Rams have gotten to Houston by beating teams from five major conferences by an average of 12 points. How odd is this Final Four? The combined ages of Smart and Stevens don’t equal Calhoun’s (68). If the Young Guns don’t win it all, the circus really is an option. After shocking the world, they might as well see the world.

This tournament broke hearts — see everyone’s bracket — and inspired the BCS. That cursed group has to be feeling good today. At least the BCS gets the top two teams playing for the championship. Maybe not the two teams you want, but close. Go ahead, stage your 16-team football playoff. VCU and Butler getting to the Final Four roughly translates — using the 2010 standings — to Fresno State and Troy playing in college football’s national semifinals.

What is about the two sports that Cinderellas in basketball can be ugly stepsisters in football?

Enjoy this fairy tale. VCU is this year’s Butler, which was last year’s Hoosiers. For UConn, Jeremy Lamb is 2009’s Kemba Walker, who is this year’s best player. Never doubt a New York point guard or a Southwestern Illinois College big man.

While Houston is bracing for a bum rush of basketball, Las Vegas is just plain bummed, at least the sports books. The search is on for the degenerate gambler who picked the fourth-place team in the Colonial Athletic Conference, the ninth-place team in the Big East, a nine-loss team from the Horizon and the second-place team (by three games) in the SEC East.

>Weekend Box Office: ‘Diary of a Wimpy Kid’ Easily Beats ‘Sucker Punch’ With $24.4 Million

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Zack Snyder’s “Sucker Punch” opens lower than expected with $19 million; “Limitless” and “Lincoln Lawyer” enjoy strong holds.

Fox 2000’s kids sequel Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules easily won the weekend box office race, grossing a hearty $24.4 million and delivering Fox a new franchise. Warner Bros.’ Sucker Punch wasn’t as lucky, grossing $19 million in a soft start for the action-fantasy.

Rodrick Rules came in ahead of the original Diary of a Wimpy Kid, which opened a year ago to $22.1 million. The sequel, which cost a modest $18 million to produce, enjoyed a mammoth uptick in business on Saturday thanks to family traffic.

Warners had expected Zack Snyder’s Sucker Punch–which cost $75 million to produce–to clear $20 million in its opening, but said on Sunday it was nevertheless pleased with the outcome. Warners is a huge supporter of Snyder, who is directing the upcoming Superman: Man of Steel.

Rodrick Rules drew an A- CinemaScore; Sucker Punch, a B-.

Holdovers Limitless and The Lincoln Lawyer both enjoyed strong holds in their second weekend, coming in No. 3 and No. 4 respectively.

Limitless, a win for Relativity Media’s new distribution operation, fell 19% to an estimated $15.2 million for a cume of $41.3 million in its first 10 days.

Lionsgate’s The Lincoln Lawyer fell 17% to an estimated $10.9 million for a cume of $28.8 million.

Paramount’s Rango crossed the $100 million mark over the weekend, as did Sony’s Adam Sandler-Jennifer Aniston romantic comedy Just Go With It. They are the first 2011 releases to clear $100 million.

Rango came in No. 5 for the weekend, falling 32% to an estimated $9.7 million for a cume of $106.3 million in fourth weekend.

Among specialty openings, Julian Schnabel’s controversial Miral, from the Weinstein Co., debuted to a $65,000 from four theaters for a so-so location average of $16,250.

Focus Features’ Jane Eyre continued to expand nicely, grossing $982,765 from 90 theaters for a cume of $1.9 million.

Fox Searchlight’s Win Win, directed by Tom McCarthy, also saw a successful expansion in its second weekend. The film grossed $470,000 from 23 theaters for a theater average of $20,470 and cume of $678,720. Win Win expands next weekend into an additional 12 markets, and will be playing in a total of 130-140 theaters.